Changing Faces

Of all the fortune cookies I've had and the fortunes contained in them, the one that remains with me after all these years is one that said "God Gives You One Face And You Make Yourselves Another". When I first read that one, I was floored. It spoke volumes to the levels that people will go to to make themselves look good, and not just physically. It's Oscar season and highly paid actors will receive the coveted golden trophy for their fictional portrayals of various characters; if you ask me, the treasured trophies should go to the every day Joes and Janes we deal with in our daily lives. People flex and front for others just to impress or deceive. But, as one of my favorite ole school songs says, "Time Will Reveal". It all eventually comes out, either in the wash or in the rinse. Sooner or later, the mask will drop and the real you will be shown. And then, I show you the door...

Seduction 101

You.

Yes, You.

Come Here. I Want You.

Seduce Me.

Start with your eyes. Give me that look. That ‘Damn, you’re hot’ look. That ‘I wanna touch you’ look. Undress me with your eyes. Caress me with your eyes. Sweat me with your eyes; wet me with your eyes. Make my heart race, my pulse quicken, my blood run Arizona desert hot, with your eyes.

Let’s talk about those lips. Those soft, sexy lips. Make ‘em work for you. Tease me with ‘em. Lick ‘em nice and slow, make me hope, wish, and pray that I’m next on the tasting list.

Walk on over here. Gimme that nice, slow, sexy, deliberate walk. Take your time, I wanna watch you move. Move in close. Real close. Extra close – but don’t touch. Yet…

Don’t just look at me; admire me. Appraise me. Take in every inch of me with your eyes. Make it hard for me to look back into your eyes. Make it hard for me not to touch you. Devour me with your eyes; make me hunger desperately for your touch…

And when you do touch me, do it slowly. Grasp my waist, slowly pull me closer. Let me know without a single word that it’s time for your lips to meet mine. Lean in low and slow, tease me a little bit more. Let your lips grace my lips like that balmy summer breeze that warms me from head to toe. Part ‘em slightly, gently, slowly. Trace my lips real slow with the tip of your tongue; send that chill up my spine that makes me wanna run. Envelope me with your arms, pull me in tighter and closer until your heartbeat invades my ribcage and turns that chill on my spine into an inferno.

Press you lips and tongue firmly and deeply, take my breath away and make my head spin madly until I’m downright dizzy from the taste of Patron Silver still lingering in your mouth. Oh, and you can throw in a little slow grind with your hips for good measure; give me a glimpse of the pleasure yet to come…

School's Out (Part 3) {A Piece of Fiction}

5:00 could not come fast enough for me! I know I broke all kinds of speeding rules getting my baby to Grandma and jetting back over to the school; fortunately, the long arm of the law was merciful to my restless soul that evening.

I pulled up near the front door at 4:57 p.m. I took a quick moment to check my hair and lipstick, then got out and went to the door. Through the glass, I could see him coming from around the corner at the far end of the hall. I took a deep breath and rang the buzzer; he responded by quickening his steps. Was he as anxious as I was?

He pushed open the door and gave me a wide, appreciative smile. "Right on time, come in, I've been waiting for you." He gave me just enough room to have to squeeze my body past his. I caught a whiff of 'Unforgiveable' by Sean John; mercy! He wore it well.

I turned to find him giving me an unashamed once-over. Instantly I was glad I had taken the time to pick out something sexy to wear: a clingy yet flowing white wrap dress with silver strappy kitten heeled sandals. Not a curve was lost on him, I could see it in his eyes.

"Why don't we get right to work? I don't want to keep you too late, I don't want you in trouble with your man," he teased.

I grinned back. "We won't have that problem, I assure you," I replied, walking into his office ahead of him, giving my hips and ass an extra slow twist. We went in and with great difficulty of restraint, sat down to the files and forms that needed to be reviewed and filed before the next day. After about an hour, the semi-silence was maddening, and the sexual tension was as thick as Philadelphia cheesecake. I almost jumped out of my chair when he cleared his throat and stood up.

"I think we've done pretty good, don't you?" he asked, gesturing toward the now short stack of papers on his desk. "Let's take a little break." He came around the side of his desk and stood behind me.

"Sure, let me just get these last two forms in this file." I glanced sideways and up at him as he peered over my shoulder, initially at the papers in my hand. Almost instantly, his gaze traveled to the perfect aerial view of my cleavage, accentuated by the low-cut, ruffled v-neck of my dress. He didn't try to hide his gaze; I didn't try to pretend I didn't like it. I knew he was admiring the slight fullness of my 34B's, gently lifted by my black lace Victoria's secret push-up bra. I laid the folder on the table where I was working and looked up at him, smiling.

"Are you hungry, thirsty?" he asked. Damn, that voice stirred me up even more.

"I'll have something to drink. What do you have?" I met his gaze; he gave me a soft, twisted smile and reached for the cooler beside his desk. He pulled out a chilled bottle of Hpnotiq, and two glasses.

"Is this good for you?" he asked, pouring and handing one to me. The tips of his fingers touched mine as I took the glass; there goes those shock waves again.

"Just happens to be my favorite." I took a long sip, eying him steadily. We made small talk for a few minutes; then finally, I guess he'd had enough playing and decided to get bold.

"I have to tell you, you look so hot," he said, moving closer to me. I was mid-sip; his remark caught me off guard, and I lost a drop of the Hpnotiq on my bottom lip.

As I went to wipe it away, he grasped my hand. He leaned in, and with his lips, caught that wayward drop of blended vodka, fruit juices, and cognac. His lips lingered on mine, and I swear, my breath left my body. He pulled back and took my glass, setting it on the table.

"I notice you didn't resist." His mouth was still dangerously close to mine.

"Why would I?" With that, he moved his entire body to mine.

"That's all I needed to hear." He placed his hands on my waist and pulled himself even closer, as if that were possible. My breath had returned; it disappeared again as he gently pressed his lips to mine and parted them with his tongue. He kissed me so slowly, so passionately, so deeply, I literally got dizzy. Our bodies were pressed so closely, so tightly, yet not close or tight enough. He finally moved from my lips to my neck, just below my ear. Oh, he was on dangerous ground now!

He was whispering in my ear, in that damn deep ass voice. "Would you mind, if I made love to you right here, right now?"

I was trying hard to catch my breath, with those soft lips and the tip of that tongue sucking gently on my neck. "I would mind if you didn't." As soon as I said it, he slowly lifted my dress and squeezed my ass, pulling me into him. Catching the sides of my black lace panties, he slipped them over my hips and to the floor. In a matter of moments, we were on his desk. He showered me with kisses, whispered my name over and over. After what seemed like forever, he slowly entered me. Slow, deep strokes, alternated with hard thrusts. He was such an expert; after somewhat teasing me to the edge and back a time or two, we both came hard. Real hard. So hard we had to lie there for several minutes, on his desk, sweaty and shaking. I had never had it so good...

School’s Out (Part 2) {A Piece of Fiction}

I dreamed about that voice...vibrating off my skin...the warmth of his breath caressing the back of my neck, as his hands caressed my-

"Yes Ma'am, can I help you?"

Dang! What? That wasn't his voice! Then I felt flushed as I came to myself and realized I was standing at the reception desk in the front office at my child's school. I had come to bring some snacks for his class.

"Yes, I need to take these to my child's class." Oh man! What kind of look did I have on my face while standing there? Shake it off, I told myself as I carried the chips and juice down the hall. I found myself searching the hallways for him, just to catch a glimpse.

I chatted with my child's teacher for a few minutes, then reluctantly prepared to leave. My child stopped me. "Mommy, eat lunch with me today, please?" "Sure baby," I replied. At least that'll give me a chance to hang around a little longer; maybe I'll get to see him.

Seated at the table, I listened to my baby chatter on excitedly about school. I was so glad to see my child happy. Taking a bite of my chicken, I glanced around the cafeteria. The school was impressively clean and orderly. Then, I heard it.

"Hi, how are you?" It came from behind me; I stopped mid-chew; was I daydreaming again? Nope, he slid into the seat beside me. Damn! How sexy can one man be?

I swallowed quickly; "Hi, it's good to see you," I replied, hoping my voice wasn't to squeaky or shaky.

"I hope you don't mind me joining you." He flashed that million-dollar smile and I almost melted into my mashed potatoes.

"Not at all." By now I had recovered and returned the smile. Did someone turn up the heat in here?

"Listen, I'm glad I ran into you. I'd like to ask you a favor, if you don't mind."

"Sure, anything," I replied. And I do mean anything!

"If you're not busy after school today, I need some assistance with some files and paperwork. My secretary has a very important meeting at her son's school so she won't be able to stay. Would you be able to help me for a couple of hours?"

Me? And you? Alone in your office? I got that familiar tingle just thinking about it. "Sure. No problem. I can be back here right after I drop Taylor off at my mom's for the weekend. Is 5:00 ok?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then." Taylor and I took our trays to the window and we went back to the classroom. As I was leaving, I saw him standing by the door. I sure hoped no one noticed my knees buckle.

"Just ring the buzzer when you get back and I'll let you in," he smiled.

"Ok." He held the door open for me, and as I walked past him, he stepped toward me and surreptitiously placed his hand at the small of my back. "See you this evening," he whispered. Lawd, will I make it that long? I can't wait....

School’s Out (Part 1) {A Piece of Fiction}

School had just started. It was August. And it was hot. Come to think of it, so was I.

It started fairly innocently. I got a call from my child's school, inviting me to Parent's Open House. When I answered the call, nothing had prepared me for the voice on the other end of the phone. It was a deep, rich baritone; so deep that I felt the vibration of his vocal chords in my chest. I almost missed the reason for the call, I was so captivated by that voice. So captivated that it invaded my dreams.

Open House night came; I met with my child's teacher for about half an hour. We stopped near the entryway and talked for a few minutes as she was walking me out. That's when I saw him. I wasn't sure who he was; a teacher perhaps. He was coming down the hall towards us, shaking hands and greeting parents and visitors. When he got to us, he stopped, and his eyes met mine. Did he just give me a very appreciative once-over? Did I just give him one? Did anyone else notice?

He smiled and extended his hand; I took it. Please tell me I didn't literally jumped when he grasped my hand? Because I know I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me the second his hand touched mine.

We made our introductions; turns out, he's my child's principal. Wow. Everything about this man was electric; he was sooo smooth! I guess he was about 5'7"; slender build, immaculately groomed, and sexy as hell! He kept his smile and his gaze fixed on me. We talked briefly; I let him know that I was available any time if the school needed me (or you, I thought to myself). As I prepared to leave (very reluctantly), he grasped my hand in both of his, and said, "I'll be calling you." Damn! That voice...

WAITING FOR A KING (NOT A COURT JESTER)

Since I have been (newly) single, I have noticed an interesting trend when it comes to the men (and I use the term loosely) that I encounter. Quite an interesting cast of characters:

“The Weather Vane”: This one couldn’t make up his mind who and what he wanted. Some days, he’s all over me, texting and calling; others, he disappears and can’t be found. Turns out that during his last disappearing act, he was with his ex. He finally called and told me that for a couple of months, he and his ex had been trying to work things out. Hmmm, glad you finally told me.

“Mr. Static Cling”: With this one I learned not to fall for the pretty eyes. I messed up and gave him my phone number, and instantly regretted it. He called constantly, and was just entirely too clingy. I love an attentive man, but this was just ridiculous.

“Ancient One-Track Mind”: This fella is almost 50 year old and has the mentality of a teenage cave-dweller. Instead of asking me to lunch, he’s asking me to a hotel room. He assumed that because I had a new vehicle, that I had to have a man and the man got it for me. Every time he sees me he eyeballs me up and down like I’m the last piece of naked chicken on the plate, and he even had the nerve to ask me if we could sit in my vehicle (that I couldn’t have gotten without a man, according to him) and let him…how can I put this…breastfeed (I won’t even tell you his exact words). Really dude?

“Mr. Sad Case”: Late 40’s/early 50’s. Unemployed. No income. No house. No car. Drinks and is rumored to be on drugs. Seriously? No thank you.

I spent 15 years of my life with a man who was a wonderful God-send. He was educated, intelligent, ambitious, and driven. Tall, handsome, and confident. Funny, sexy, and attentive. Spiritual, sensitive, and thoughtful. God called him home last year, and now I am single again. Now, I’m not perfect, but I am a Queen who deserves a King. And I refuse to settle. Alone does not mean desperate. I know there is a man out there with all the qualities I look for. I’ll be right here, waiting patiently. That is all.

MY PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there existed a group of strong, determined, resilient, and supportive people; African-Americans (Black people, if you will). They owned businesses; they hired/went to work for each other; they frequented each others business faithfully; and, they supported each other. But something happened somewhere along the way, and the wealth and abilities they possessed were being spread everywhere else except in their own community. They even sold lucrative entities that they owned to the very race that enslaved and degraded them for centuries. And now, where there was once camaraderie and support, there is apathy, envy and division. A sad ending to our tale.

If only this were a fairy tale…

Follow my timeline…

December 2002 to September 2003: worked as an office manager for a state funded program house under our CDC. The Executive Director was (is) an African-American female who unfortunately embodies ‘a black woman on a power trip’. She gave me hell and worked my nerves the entire time, the longest 9 months of my life.

August 2005 to August 2006: worked as an Administrative Assistant for a private church school. Several months in the Principal/Director (a Black man) doubled my salary and added to my responsibilities. Out of the blue one day a couple of months later, he claims that they could no longer afford my salary (after he had remodeled the building and his house) and told me not to return to work the next day.

March 2007 to August 2007: worked as an Account Administrator for a physical therapy practice owned by a doctor and his wife (a black couple). Same thing as above, at the end of the day one day she told me they weren’t making money and told me not to return the next day.

November 2007: worked for a few weeks for a black female pediatrician. In addition to receptionist duties, we cleaned the office, took out the trash, etc. When payday came, we had to wait for her for hours to get our pay; sometimes the bank would be closed. One week, we had to keep calling her and could not reach her, and did not get our paychecks until Monday. That was the position that I quit.

July 2010 to July 2011: ended up back at the CDC, this time as an AmeriCorps VISTA member. Same scenario. She expected miracles while giving me grief. That was one long year.

March 2012: slated to work as an office manager for a black man who owned a small but thriving car dealership. It went well for a couple of days, maybe a week. Then he started being sketchy and shady with the hours; I found out he had re-hired his cousin, whom he claimed wasn’t working out and that’s why he needed me. He didn’t even have the guts to come out and tell me I wasn’t needed; I dropped by to check and she was back at the desk.

And so went my attempts at solidarity with my people; 6 jobs over 8 years, laboring to help grow and promote ‘our’ businesses. The result? Either dismissed with no warning, or given such a hard time until productive work was a mere pipe dream. And speaking of dreams, I went in each time with a dream: to work at a place that was black owned and operated, and help the business grow and prosper. For me, that was a fairy tale. I felt used and betrayed, and now I have a sour taste in my mouth; I may never go back to work for another African-American business. And that is a sad and unfortunate feeling to have.

We have gone from literally dying so that we can all have freedom and prosperity as a people, to tearing each other down for self-gain. Don’t get me wrong, we all don’t do behave this way. But the prevalence of such actions sometimes overshadows those of us who are striving to promote solidarity and collective success. It is my hope and prayer, that we get it together and re-unite sincerely, before the crabs rip each other to shreds in that barrel.